Winter Chilling

I want to blog but cannot think of a topic for today. Have just finished night shifts and only had 2 hours sleep, so there is always that nauseous, delirious feel to the day, but also a delicious feeling of being at liberty to be lazy without feeling guilty!! Having just started the official 6 weeks 'til Christmas Countdown, I am really getting into the winter mood. It is already dark and windy outside, adding extra reason to stay in and not feel guilty! I am curled up on the couch in my coziest Snowflake PJs and boyfriend's oversized sweater, wrapped in my soft fleece blanket, heating on full and fire roaring away. Drinking hot chocolate (if I was Holly I would have made it soo much better by adding Bailey's, but I can't find my bottle!), eating biscuits and watching the movie of the day on channel 5. It is truly bad 90s made-for-TV movie at its worst.



Thoughts I am currently experiencing:

• I have recently noticed my number of Facebook friends has dropped by 3, even though I've added a few new friends. Who has ditched me? Why? I can figure out who 2 of them are but not the 3rd. Did I offend? :(


• This movie I'm watching (called Suburban Madness, if you're interested in numbing your brain cells!) has been rated 2 out of 5 stars by the network, leading me to ask why they are showing it if even they realize how criminally bad it is!


• Why am I still watching this?!


• Am I the only one who sees absolutely no point in an air guitar contest? Call me girly but if someone suggested to me a night out watching people stand on a stage in a local beer-soaked pub pretending to play guitar, I would have to go with no


• Speaking of nights out, am excited for next week, to go to the Christmas market for a girls' day out, finished off with Strictly Come Dancing (yah, go Matt!) and curry. Also, Julie and I booked a mini-trip to London near Christmas for some a major shopping spree and to see The Lion King in the West End. Yah!
• Congrats to my cousin Jay and his lady Angie, on the birth of their new baby boy, Stanley, who was so desperate to be born that he was delivered by his Dad in their living room before the ambulance arrived.

Ciao, friends!

This Is My Life!

Eavesdroppers, UNITE!

I simply love people watching. I have a strong early memory of waiting in a parked car while my parents attended to some long-since forgotten errand. An extremely easily bored child with a scant attention span (nothing has changed into adulthood, alas, alas...) I was spoilt rotten by the constant attention of my 2 older siblings. On this occasion, my sister Bryony was amusing me by speaking outloud the thoughts of passers-by. I delighted in it, and it stuck with me - still to this day, I could people-watch for hours, conjecturing their names, occupations, nationalities, shopping lists, reasons for being in that exact place at that exact time and so on.

I go to extraordinary lengths to eavesdrop on an interesting conversation (I like to think I have perfected the "Don't-mind-me-I'm-just-minding-my-own-business" look) and indeed, my boyfriend has been amazed time and again at my ability to listen to and participate in a conversation between himself and I, while at the same time keeping one ear firmly on the goings-on around us. I will happily and without embarrassment deviate out of my way to pick up pieces of interesting looking debris or read signs on doors or tucked under windscreen wipers. It is therefore with a cry of joy, and a rallying call to all other nosy parkers, that I intend to become a regular at this website:

FOUND magazine - www.foundmagazine.com/find

Inquisitive minds from around the world send in things they have found (notes, pictures, whatever) for us to feast our prying eyes on. I love it!

On the topic of websites, I must offer up this gem of a quote from my Mum a while back, with a disclaimer that my Mum is actually very up on all things cyber-space and is not often caught out:

Jan: "You really seem to like this Facebook website. Do you think I should get an account?"(Affirming murmers from my direction) Jan: "You'll have to write the website down for me, I won't remember it. What is it again? Something like http://www.get-on-my-face.com/?"

No, Jan - that website may well take you to something quite different.

For Fitch

He says he was in Canada, but I can exclusively reveal that in fact, Ben Fitch was on a coach somewhere in the back streets of Albania last week! Time to fess up, Ben. And remember, next time, look to see if Lindsay is lurking just a few seats behind you! :)

Lights out on Blogs?

Back in the days before Facebook (is it possible?!) the first task of my day was to log onto Blogger and see if anyone had read my blog, possibly even left some comments. It was so exciting for me to have my own tiny corner of the worldwide web where I could let friends and family know my daily thoughts and activities that I even installed a little tracker on it, that would tell me who had viewed my blog from various regions of the globe (excitingly, if not very accurately)

Since Laura demanded I get onto Facebook (curses on your head, Mitchell!) my blogging has waned - nay, stalled. At first I felt a little guilty. I still used to log on and check for comments most days, then it became most weeks. I made a few half-hearted, tepid posts, low on inspiration and humour and with a view to getting back onto the realtime updates of Facebook.

And while we're being honest, I may as well admit that the second task of my day was to check up on other blogs I enjoyed to see if they had been updated. You know. Friends' blogs and things. Jani and her exotic, artsy life in Montreal. Holly and the exciting changes of motherhood. Laura and her big move across Canada. Arwen and Andy and their European adventures. And, um...well, a rather ecclectic collection of blogs that I had randomly stumbled across while blog-surfing (I never said I was cool, OK!) and had rather liked.

My collection of must-see blogs (there is even new-fangled term for this desire to check blogs for updates before getting on with your day: Blogjammed) includes the following:

• A Mormon stay at home Mom with 5 children, one of whom is disabled;
• a 40-something American guy who blogs about his intensely complicated affair with a woman who he would literally do anything for, but she is happy with her boyfriend and thinks of him as just sex on the side;
• a British woman living in the USA who delights me with her witty, insightful comments on differences of life over there;
• a Southern gal who takes amazing pics and blogs about her fun lifestyle;
• a Canadian gentleman in his 90s, who blogs about anything that interests him;
• a Venezualan woman living in the UK who is currently in the throes of schizophrenic psychosis but doesn't let that deter her from blogging!

My point is this: Although my own little blog is slowly crumbling to nothingness, I still check others' blogs (including those of my real friends!) most weeks. I find that most of them, too, seem to have been abandoned or are only half-heartedly updated. Could it be possible that such a randomly non-connected group (though I suppose connected to each other through me, in my own mini version of 6 Degrees of Separation) could all have been taken over by the Facebook/MySpace phenomena and therefore feel no need to blog?

I find it a little unlikely. Is it just that the Blog has had its day and is necessarily being phased out, going the way of cassette tapes and leg warmers? Is it lights out for my own little Bumblelou?

Jekyll/Hyde?

At this point in my life, where everything is so confusing, I feel like nothing is clear cut and the ground could fall through and swallow me up at any moment (and, in the worse moments, that that would not necessarily be such a bad thing!) I realize (after much reflection) that I am, possibly more so than anyone else I know, a complete contradiction!

I love learning about people but hate small talk.

I take everything seriously and spend a lot of time ridiculously and needlessly stressed but am ridiculously laid back

Will argue with anyone, strangers included, if I care passionately but hate arguements and change the channel if one is on TV.

Say things like they are but cringe and hide in the corner if others do the same.

Am a clean freak but crazily messy.

Need to be around people but value alone time more than anything.

A drama queen but socially awkward.

The one my friends watch, head shaking as they laugh at my embarrassing antics, but so old before my time and serious that I drive myself crazy!

Do things spontaneously at the drop of a hat but worry about things 10, 20 or 50 years down the line.

Love things that give me a rush but feel my stomach flip-flop in fear just looking at amusement park rides.

Am fiercely and proudly a Canadian in England but defend England to Canadians.

I could go on and on. Is this a recipe for craziness or what? And guys say girls are hard to understand!!

Open Letter

My Dear Blog,
Can you forgive me for how I have treated you the last few months? Facebook came into my life and you were knocked resoundingly into a distant second place. Many times I have thought of you - the good times, the witty comments, the joy we felt as we giggled together, scheming over just the right topic to discuss, what picture to upload. Whenever a funny moment happens in my life, my first thought is sharing it with the world through you, not through Facebook. You may never believe me but it is true. I was simply ashamed to return to you and as time went on it just got harder. I hope our time together was not in vain. Can you ever accept me back? Do you think it can ever be like the old days? CAN WE REKINDLE THE MAGIC?

Yours loving,

Lindsay a.k.a "Your Bumblelou"

PS. Can you stop off and pick up some milk and diapers on the way home?

For a really special occasion

For that special someone in your life: A beautiful rose, that oops... (tee hee)... turns into some saucy knickers when unwrapped. I don't think you can see from the picture but a main selling point (according to the manufacturers) is "real rose scented".

There is so much wrongness going on here that I am at a loss where to start, but seriously, if your model is gonna be wearing white see-through unmentionables, please make sure she is not sporting a bush the size of your average garden topiary. I would love to test out their one-size fits all theory as well!

I hung around so long at the gas station (and yes, they come from a gas station and are attractively priced at just 2.50 pound sterling...who says he don't treat 'chu good!) trying to wait for an opportunity to take this picture that I'm sure they have me listed under some kind of suspicious perv watch. I can never return!

Love you long time, baby!

This is my Wee Me. I like her. She is in London, drinking a delicious cold smoothie, listening to tunes on I-Pod, relaxing in the spring sunshine. She is me in virtual form. Fun. Mildly diversional. Not too much point really other than that...

Eerie

I believe it is now established, indisputable fact, with evidence clear throughout this blog, that I control the world, a la Bruce Almighty. With that in mind, it's time for a one-off feature:

Spooky Coincidence of the Week:
Today would have been my brother's 29th birthday. I felt I should mark the occasion some way or another, and as my sister was busy, I decided to go lay some flowers at a local cemetary. I bought some daffodils and set off. Not really sure what grave to choose, I set some possible criteria for myself. Perhaps someone who was born the same day? died the same day? same name? I wandered around for a while.

Just about to give up and put them on some random grave, I happened across this one:


Well, an Atkinson, obviously. But add alongside that the fact that he, too, was born on the 3rd of the 3rd, just like Greg. Also, Seaton is the village where my Grandad currently lives!

So spooky, I nearly pooped my pants!

Needless to say, that grave got the flowers, and I walked away feeling a little bit like maybe God has a great sense of humour and a darn big grin on His face!

Happy Birthday, Greg. We miss you! xx

Campest Ref Ever

After a rather grouchy last post, I decided to share this video and spred some smiles. This guy certainly adds his own brand of "je ne sais quoi" to "The Beautiful Game".

Success!

Am I Wonder Woman? I just might be! (Sshhh.... it's a secret!)

With a little help from my superpowers, after an 8 month battle with the people from whom I bought my cell phone, I went into the store and kicked some major ass today, resulting in a beautiful, shiny and very expensive new phone. For free! I was even mature and managed to resist choosing one of the phones just because it was pretty and pink. Yah me.

The laptop is back as well - it is not 100% better but it should last until I can save up for a new one. Welcome back to formatted text and images for added blogging pleasure. I did promise the regular features would be back...


SVEN OF THE WEEK Thankfully, there are not really many contenders this week. People who are jerks to me at work are a constant in my life, but I guess they have been the biggest stressor this week. It is not worth listing here the reasons people feel they must urgently call an ambulance and attend the ER, as you would not believe the ridiculous crap people attend with even if I told you. But why bother to come, wait around to be seen, then refuse to accept the recommended treatment and kick up a fuss? Stay at home and save yourself and us the stress.

And while I'm at it, if I manage to get the chance to offer you a drink (and no, it is not my job, I'm not a waitress, I do it out of the goodness of my heart and a desire to care for people), PLEASE dispose of the plastic cup or at the very least leave it somewhere visible. I only have a short space of time to clear the cubicle before bringing in the next patient, and it does not help when you hide them under the mattress, stuff them behind the door or in the storage drawers. Why do you do this?!?! The garbage can is right there and surely the easier option!

Rating:

4 penguin pokes, out of a possible 5

They win: A free plane trip to a third-world country, so they can see the kind of healthcare the world's less fortunate people have to contend with, and maybe realize how lucky they are to have free, effective health care.

WARM FUZZY OF THE WEEK

Well, that was quite a rant! This much nicer award goes to another family I encountered at work. Let's call them the Kaur family. They were absolutely delightful, the whole family. They were friendly, polite and understanding. There is a long story behind it, but basically, they were my favourite patients ever, we had a good chat, and the next day they returned twice to the department (I had not started shift the first time) to give me a hug and some chocolates as thanks! This is fairly normal for nurses on the wards but we never get chocolates or even a thank you in the Emerg!

Rating:

5 creme eggs, a perfect score, for making me float on air and grin like the Cheshire cat the rest of the day. My first proper thank you in 2 years!

They win: A great big smile from me. What more could you need?

T.Y.P.D.K.A.M

4) I skipped a week of university to go on an all-inclusive holiday to Greece and drink lots and lots of alchol. I then worked 14 shifts in a row, starting 7am the morning we arrived back in England, to make up lost time.

Fashion Tips From The Crypt

I am a devoted waxer. It is true. Some of you have been fortunate enough to hear my horror stories. But yesterday I decided to go a little different and get the old eyebrows threaded.

For those of you not familiar, you get tilted back in a chair and a woman leans over you with a skein of thread, which she holds between her teeth and somehow uses an ancient technique to shape your brows. The exact process, I'm not sure of, because my eyes were screwed shut tight. Slightly painful, but it was a success. I came away with brows beautified.

I should have stopped there. But I didn't. I got obsessed. I decided they were not celeb-worthy brows (what is our generation coming to, hey? Constant comparing to celebs). I read somewhere a while ago that celebs trim their eyebrows. My precision nursing scissors were sitting there, beckoning. And the mirror, telling me my eyebrows were not up to scratch.

So I did it. BIG mistake. Remember the trend for boy-bands in the early 90s to have that 'notch' in their brows, a la Vanilla Ice. Think like that.

It's bad, girls. Let this be a lesson to you all. So for the next few weeks, brown eyeliner is my friend.

Sigh.

Thanks for the comments. They have inspired me to blog :)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

It is snowing here. No, really. Sometimes, as a resident alien in this country and a patriotic Canadian, I have an inner struggle against making American-style ethnocentric comments, ie:

"You call THAT steak?!"
"You call THOSE mountains?!"
"You call THIS snow?!"

But for once, this is comparable to a real Canadian blizzard! It has been coming thick and fast for over 24 hours now. Slightly exciting! And compliments to the Limeys, who have coped surprisingly well, unlike last time it 'snowed' (for about 2 minutes, melted as it hit the ground) and people were stranded in traffic jams for over 8 hours. And my plane to Belfast was cancelled due to "unpassable snow on the runway".

RANDOM THINGS I AM THINKING ABOUT THIS WEEK:

~~I can never write the word 'beginning' without thinking of Mrs Sewell. It must be a disease.

~~The things people put in their baskets at the supermarket never cease to amaze me. I wish I had a job where I could reasonably interview people and find out why they are buying these items. Case in point: This Sunday, while buying ingredients for my steak and ale pie (yummy, thank you), the young university students in front of me had in their trolley:
5 boxes of Ferrera Rocher chocolates
2 packs of coconut milk
16 2-litre bottles of Nestea Ice Tea
6 loaves of cheap white bread
Tins of peaches and tomatoes
4 cheap air fresheners
Some baby cough medicine

What could they possibly be planning? Discuss.

~~I wish I was not so driven by whim. I decided today I wanted my hair cut and coloured. Now. But of course I can only get an appointment next week. I am now grumpy. I always do this. No foreplanning, just a sudden desire to cut my hair/book a holiday/get a new tattoo or piercing/cook an exotic meal/go to a local attraction I have heard about. And always, the attraction is shut (due to it being the middle of winter), the ingredients are not in my store cupboard (really, who among us has ready to hand 8 pounds of goat cheese, or whatever these things require) and more organized people have rudely and thoughtlessly taken the appointments I desire (If you are one of those people who take their diaries to the hairdresser, and book their next appointment while they are there, I mean you. Damn your perfectly planned lives)

~~In normal life, I am not a raspberry fan; give me strawberries any day. Yet, my shopping basket always has organic raspberry youghurt in it, and I had a personal crisis this week when they only had strawberry flavour left (I didn't buy it)

~~My laptop is back. Alas, not working. I miss it so much, and there are so many fun things I want to share with you guys (photos, videos, fun features) that I just don't know how to do on this Apple.

~~No comments from friends and family. Hmmm. Google Analytics has completely flatlined my blog, apparently I have had zero visitors for about 3 weeks now. I miss the little map the most, that shows you where people have been visiting from, and guessing who it was.

~~Neighbours is getting so good. It ended with a real cliff hanger today: Who is the real father of Sky's baby? Is it Dylan or Stingray? Will this ruin the brothers' relationship forever? Can I possibly wait until Monday to find out, or should I search the Internet to find out?

~~I want veneers and laser eye surgery.

T.Y.P.D.K.A.M.

3) I was in the Model United Nations in high school. Yes. I represented the grand nation of Costa Rica. Yes.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Who would have thunk it. I have been in England 5 years today! Ah yes, good old 2nd February, 2002 (02-02-02, how could I forget!) So innocent I was.

Lindsay: The Innocent Baby Student Nurse, 2003

All your favourite regular features, as well as some semblance of text formatting, will be back whenever I get my laptop back, sometime next week I think. Until then, Flatmate Matt has kindly let me use his Apple, which although fancy and expensive, doesn't like letting me do very much (that's right Lindsay, blame the computer!)

I'm off to celebrate. I'm sure the etiquette guide says the appropriate 5th year anniversary present is a free trip to New Zealand....

Have a cup of tea on me to celebrate with this handy voucher: www.freecupofteafromlindsaybecauseshelovesyou.com

*Voucher only redeemable in Iceland*

Note to self

"In Car To Protect"

This is the rather cryptic message I have, at some indeterminate point, set my phone to remind me about today. Why? No idea. Whatever could it mean? My hypothesis: I am living in some kind of time-warp, a la Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, where my future self has already lived through today and has sent my past self (me) a message to warn me of grave danger.
If anyone wants me, I'll be cowering in my car all day.

Chocolate Banana Shake

Mmmmmm....... Peters'.

Props to Amy for joining me on my semi-annual pilgrimage earlier this month.

Google Analytics is telling me that my site has had zero visits since last Tuesday. Nearly a week! Can it be so? But, *sniff* I added new features and *sniff* I even had pictures of creme eggs *HONK* (that is me blowing my nose) Although, Laura left a comment this week (LOVE YA!) so it must be wrong. HURRAH! Laura also wins valuable BlogPoints** (registered trademark) for getting it right, first try, that she was the one who wrote me the unprintable note in junior high. Good times.

**BlogPoints are redeemable at Beaver Lumber, Peavey Mart, HomeHardware and SAAN (remember SAAN!!!)**

I am taking my laptop into the 'shop' (actually, Mike's Dad!) for repair, so I will be offline for a few days. Also, Michelle is coming to visit me, YAH! So I would probably be too busy anyway, showing her the sights and baking her cakes and things :) I will look forward to getting back online soon, catching up on all your blogs and sharing with you my latest Sven Of The Week.

As a sidebar, I will just add here that if you are reading this, and your name is Sven (unlikely, but there you are), I hope you will not be offended. It is an Atkinson thing.

Many moons ago, my dear brother Greg took a dislike to a Canadian politician called Sven Robinson. I can't remember now what his particular issue with him was, but since then, dear old Sven has been caught stealing a very valuable ring, so it appears Greg may have been right. Anyway, Greg took to labelling things he didn't like 'Svens' (literally: he had a label maker, and used to print off little labels that said Sven and stick them to things!) So that is the history.

T.Y.P.D.K.A.M:

2) I performed every year at my Dad's work Christmas Party, reciting poetry, dancing, or playing piano. For several of those years, I wore a homemade party dress that was seriously hot pink, with tons of layers and white bows dotted all over it. Attractive.

New Blog Features, Because I Am Very Bored

Over Christmas my sister and I went through our boxes of stuff at my parents' house and scaled it down bigtime. We did this about 2 years ago, so it wasn't actually that bad. I found some funny stuff, and spent a lot more time reading through old schoolwork, looking at old pictures and reminiscing than doing any actual work!

I think I may have missed a box of stuff, because I didn't encounter any old yearbooks, or some other stuff that I know I wouldn't have thrown out. Like notes from junior high. Let's be honest, they were so stupid, but worth a laugh, and I'm sure I kept a few. The point of this all is, I did find one old note, and was gonna publish excerpts of it on here, see if you could figure out who wrote it to me and which various people and teachers we were discussing. But looking at it now, it is all way too rude/raunchy/insulting/pointless to publish on here. That alone should tell you who wrote it!! (No, not me!) No one who reads this blog is in there, in fact, no one who I have seen in years. Man, we were such bitchy cows in junior high!

Well, that was pointless. On to other things: I think it's time for:

SVEN OF THE WEEK

This week's Sven Of The Week award goes to "X", at the hospital. I'm not fond of her attitude and find she delights a lot in the meagre amount of power she has been allocated. She is lording it over me and making me do a lot of pointless hoop-jumping. So I'm sitting at home, writing stupid blogs, when I could be out making money.

Rating:
(4 penguin pokes, out of a possible 5)

She wins: My freezer. Complete with death-breath smell, rotten food, and black mould.

WARM FUZZY OF THE WEEK

And this week's Warm Fuzzy goes to Hannah and Julie. It was great to meet up the other day, chatting for hours and catching up on all the gossip. I especially appreciate their friendship when I was feeling low after returning from my long hiatus.

Rating: (3 creme eggs out of a possible 5, points deducted for getting me so drunk that I spent the night with my head in the toilet!) They win: Drinks on me on our next night out

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And finally,

Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me (T.Y.P.D.K.A.M.)

#1) I know all the words to Ice Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice), Shoop (Salt 'n Pepa) and Whoomp There It Is (Tag Team) . I really get into it when I sing along too, especially Shoop

Nephew Time

Here is a pic of nephew Ben. He is two. This is him 'raising the roof', just like his Aunty Lindsay taught him. He has a stuffed Elmo, and occasionally, while he is playing quietly on his own, you will see him throw Elmo's arms in the air and say "Elmo raise the roof!". Ah, it's good to see I can have an intellectual influence on the future generation.

I include him here because I have realized my life has been a lot of moaning, groaning, ranting and raving recently. Now, I'm not one to get sentimental about children being innocent and seeing the positive in things (believe me, I work with the little runts every day!) and I can get positively ill when people go on and on about their cutesy-wootsey kiddy stories (Reader's Digest reader stories, anyone?!) , but Ben's little outlook on life does make me laugh.

Two stories, if you'll indulge me:

1) We were walking through the mall recently, Ben being carried by a female relative, who will remain nameless to protect the embarrassed. Being a doctor's son and a nurse's nephew, he is quickly learning all the parts of the body (I don't like to brag, but he can name and locate his carotid, brachial, radial, and femoral pulses, as well as his kidneys, clavicle and many others) (yes, we are losers!). Anyhoo, he likes pointing out body parts. So he turns to the lady carrying him, pats her belly and goes, "Your little belly". We all make the appropriate praising noises, thinking, what a charmer! He is thrilled with the attention, and, showing off now, he turns to her again, pats her boobs and goes, "Your big belly"

2) Ben certainly already has his own definite personality, and likes things 'just so' - doesn't like things to be untidy, likes people to do things the 'right' way and likes to correct people if they don't say things the 'right' way. He was having an omelette for dinner the other night. His dad was helping him eat, cause he was getting tired and fussy, so he scoops up a forkful of omlette, and as he manoeuvers it to Ben's mouth, he is making chit-chat: "This is such a nice omelette, it has egg and cheese, tomatoes and peppers and broccoli in it." Ben is listening intently, with a mouthful of omelette, and he suddenly pushes the fork away and starts spitting his mouthful out into his hand. I am thinking, is he OK, is he choking? He looks his dad in the eye and says, "And ham, Daddy!", replaces his mouthful and continues eating.

Aw....

Back in Brum

So I'm back 'home'. What an incredible month off. Happy New Year to all of you, by the way, and hope you had a great Christmas.

I did all sorts of fun things with my family: we went to the Zoo, out for nice meals, went to a hockey game (go Flames!), did lots of shopping, to the theatre, went out to Kananaskis and Banff. It was great.

I went for a little looky-loo around the Children's Hospital as well, and was offered a job there in the Emergency. Is Calgary ready to have this chick back? Who knows? Certainly not me! I have pretty much been in a continuous spin cycle since then...

"I'll go to New Zealand...ah but (insert list of 25 reasons why Calgary is better)...yes, that makes sense. OK, I'll come back to Calgary...oh but, (insert reasons why NZ would be amazing)...I'm being silly, I'll go to NZ...although..."

Welcome to my little brain for nearly 3 weeks straight. Ah. Very exhausting!

Anyways, I am back here until February at least. I'll keep you posted. Anyone who has any suggestions, thoughts, prayers, or visions to make this decision easier is extremely welcome to let me know.

So my adventures since leaving Calgary?
Careful...I'm on a rant!

Well the flight home was one big continuous party. When we boarded, one extended family of about 25 people got on and sat pretty much at random wherever they wanted, despite all seats being prebooked. Now let me say the family were annoying and uncooperative to the n'th degree, but the stewardess (or "purser" as her name tag suggested, just what is that now?) did not help situtations at all by being a magnitudinous cow. It took almost an hour to sort out, while we just sat there.

Meanwhile, the couple beside me (very unfriendly) were discussing if they could grab the empty back row, despite me saying I thought it was reserved for the crew to take their breaks (clearly novices, well, not everyone can be an experienced jetsetter like moi!) ;) Every time the already agitated 'purser' walked by, the guy beside me would do that kindof litte jump, sit up straighter, try to make eye contact while extending his pointer finger in the air to get her attention. Then sigh when she (quite rightly) ignored him. In the end, when he finally grabbed her (and brave! Oh my goodness... I would not have made eye contact with this pissed-off woman for any money, let alone made a request of her!) she told him, in not nearly such a nice way that I did (ahem!) that it was for the crew and "don't you think we deserve to sit down sometimes too?!"

Things pretty much quieted down, and I even managed to grab some shut eye (although I was poked awake WITH MY BREAKFAST TRAY by same purser!!!) until we strapped in for landing. Now, I have experienced turbulence in my day but this was turbulence. We bumped, we jolted, we were thrown sideways. We experienced those kind of stomach-losing drops that make the back of your legs go numb and the whole plane collectively groan. The pilot came on the horn to tell us that we were in line for landing but would be circling for 10 more minutes. It was like being on the funfair ride that never ends and is not fun anymore. Babies were screaming, Mums were crying and Oh, the puking! I am not kidding when I say this was vomiting on a whole new level. Now, I don't like to be crass (OK...I do) but the chick in front of me was drafting in vomit bags from all over the plane, and filling them as quickly as they arrived. One woman (from the family of 25) actually got out of her seat and was thrown here, there and everywhere as she tried to make it to the bathroom (meanwhile, our favourite stewardess is screeching, get back in your seat! It's not safe!) All in all, there was 4 different people in my eyeline alone who were chucking (not that I chose to have my eyes open or watch them, you understand. My eyes were screwed shut and I had a death grip on the armrests!)

Eventually, we landed, surprisingly without the oxygen masks falling. And what does the crew say? "Gee, guys, that was a tough one, sorry about that, fortunately we made it?" Nope. "Here we are at London Heathrow. Thank you for choosing to fly with us, hope you had a good flight, please don't take off your seatbelts until the aircraft has come to a complete stop"

Now I would never be so low as to defame the airline, but it was British Airways (oops).

At least my beautiful sister, my wonderful nephew and the baby bump were all there to meet me. She took me back to hers, fed me, watered me, bathed me (just kidding!), let me sleep in their soft and warm spare bed. Things were great.

But reality hit hard when I returned back to my cold, empty flat. What's that smell? Death? Rotting?...

Knowing I was feeling low, the gods had decided to cheer me up by playing a little practical joke. At some indeterminate point in the 4 weeks we were gone, we had a little power cut. Presumably, when the power came back, things beeped back into life and started flashing 00:00. No harm. Oh, except, the freezer forgot to turn itself back on.

It is too depressing to talk about. Suffice it to say, my flatmate came back to a soupy mess last week. And being a boy, he threw all the food out (but left the garbage can full of rotting food!) and wiped the freezer once, then turned it back on (why oh why?), shut the door and left for another week. So I came home to a freezer that was entirely black and smelled like the plague.

Yesterday I spent my first day back home, jetlagged, lonely, and elbow deep in bleach with my head in a mouldy, icy, soupy, dripping pot of stinky gunge. I did what I could, but it still smells like terminal bad breath in here.

I have to go out now. I will write a more cheerful post this afternoon, but right now, spare a moment to feel a little bit sorry for me!

Love ya all

My Blog Burden

Oh little blog -

I have abandoned you. I have thought about you often though. So here I am. Will you give me another chance?

Thanks