This is my Wee Me. I like her. She is in London, drinking a delicious cold smoothie, listening to tunes on I-Pod, relaxing in the spring sunshine. She is me in virtual form. Fun. Mildly diversional. Not too much point really other than that...

Eerie

I believe it is now established, indisputable fact, with evidence clear throughout this blog, that I control the world, a la Bruce Almighty. With that in mind, it's time for a one-off feature:

Spooky Coincidence of the Week:
Today would have been my brother's 29th birthday. I felt I should mark the occasion some way or another, and as my sister was busy, I decided to go lay some flowers at a local cemetary. I bought some daffodils and set off. Not really sure what grave to choose, I set some possible criteria for myself. Perhaps someone who was born the same day? died the same day? same name? I wandered around for a while.

Just about to give up and put them on some random grave, I happened across this one:


Well, an Atkinson, obviously. But add alongside that the fact that he, too, was born on the 3rd of the 3rd, just like Greg. Also, Seaton is the village where my Grandad currently lives!

So spooky, I nearly pooped my pants!

Needless to say, that grave got the flowers, and I walked away feeling a little bit like maybe God has a great sense of humour and a darn big grin on His face!

Happy Birthday, Greg. We miss you! xx

Campest Ref Ever

After a rather grouchy last post, I decided to share this video and spred some smiles. This guy certainly adds his own brand of "je ne sais quoi" to "The Beautiful Game".

Success!

Am I Wonder Woman? I just might be! (Sshhh.... it's a secret!)

With a little help from my superpowers, after an 8 month battle with the people from whom I bought my cell phone, I went into the store and kicked some major ass today, resulting in a beautiful, shiny and very expensive new phone. For free! I was even mature and managed to resist choosing one of the phones just because it was pretty and pink. Yah me.

The laptop is back as well - it is not 100% better but it should last until I can save up for a new one. Welcome back to formatted text and images for added blogging pleasure. I did promise the regular features would be back...


SVEN OF THE WEEK Thankfully, there are not really many contenders this week. People who are jerks to me at work are a constant in my life, but I guess they have been the biggest stressor this week. It is not worth listing here the reasons people feel they must urgently call an ambulance and attend the ER, as you would not believe the ridiculous crap people attend with even if I told you. But why bother to come, wait around to be seen, then refuse to accept the recommended treatment and kick up a fuss? Stay at home and save yourself and us the stress.

And while I'm at it, if I manage to get the chance to offer you a drink (and no, it is not my job, I'm not a waitress, I do it out of the goodness of my heart and a desire to care for people), PLEASE dispose of the plastic cup or at the very least leave it somewhere visible. I only have a short space of time to clear the cubicle before bringing in the next patient, and it does not help when you hide them under the mattress, stuff them behind the door or in the storage drawers. Why do you do this?!?! The garbage can is right there and surely the easier option!

Rating:

4 penguin pokes, out of a possible 5

They win: A free plane trip to a third-world country, so they can see the kind of healthcare the world's less fortunate people have to contend with, and maybe realize how lucky they are to have free, effective health care.

WARM FUZZY OF THE WEEK

Well, that was quite a rant! This much nicer award goes to another family I encountered at work. Let's call them the Kaur family. They were absolutely delightful, the whole family. They were friendly, polite and understanding. There is a long story behind it, but basically, they were my favourite patients ever, we had a good chat, and the next day they returned twice to the department (I had not started shift the first time) to give me a hug and some chocolates as thanks! This is fairly normal for nurses on the wards but we never get chocolates or even a thank you in the Emerg!

Rating:

5 creme eggs, a perfect score, for making me float on air and grin like the Cheshire cat the rest of the day. My first proper thank you in 2 years!

They win: A great big smile from me. What more could you need?

T.Y.P.D.K.A.M

4) I skipped a week of university to go on an all-inclusive holiday to Greece and drink lots and lots of alchol. I then worked 14 shifts in a row, starting 7am the morning we arrived back in England, to make up lost time.

Fashion Tips From The Crypt

I am a devoted waxer. It is true. Some of you have been fortunate enough to hear my horror stories. But yesterday I decided to go a little different and get the old eyebrows threaded.

For those of you not familiar, you get tilted back in a chair and a woman leans over you with a skein of thread, which she holds between her teeth and somehow uses an ancient technique to shape your brows. The exact process, I'm not sure of, because my eyes were screwed shut tight. Slightly painful, but it was a success. I came away with brows beautified.

I should have stopped there. But I didn't. I got obsessed. I decided they were not celeb-worthy brows (what is our generation coming to, hey? Constant comparing to celebs). I read somewhere a while ago that celebs trim their eyebrows. My precision nursing scissors were sitting there, beckoning. And the mirror, telling me my eyebrows were not up to scratch.

So I did it. BIG mistake. Remember the trend for boy-bands in the early 90s to have that 'notch' in their brows, a la Vanilla Ice. Think like that.

It's bad, girls. Let this be a lesson to you all. So for the next few weeks, brown eyeliner is my friend.

Sigh.

Thanks for the comments. They have inspired me to blog :)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

It is snowing here. No, really. Sometimes, as a resident alien in this country and a patriotic Canadian, I have an inner struggle against making American-style ethnocentric comments, ie:

"You call THAT steak?!"
"You call THOSE mountains?!"
"You call THIS snow?!"

But for once, this is comparable to a real Canadian blizzard! It has been coming thick and fast for over 24 hours now. Slightly exciting! And compliments to the Limeys, who have coped surprisingly well, unlike last time it 'snowed' (for about 2 minutes, melted as it hit the ground) and people were stranded in traffic jams for over 8 hours. And my plane to Belfast was cancelled due to "unpassable snow on the runway".

RANDOM THINGS I AM THINKING ABOUT THIS WEEK:

~~I can never write the word 'beginning' without thinking of Mrs Sewell. It must be a disease.

~~The things people put in their baskets at the supermarket never cease to amaze me. I wish I had a job where I could reasonably interview people and find out why they are buying these items. Case in point: This Sunday, while buying ingredients for my steak and ale pie (yummy, thank you), the young university students in front of me had in their trolley:
5 boxes of Ferrera Rocher chocolates
2 packs of coconut milk
16 2-litre bottles of Nestea Ice Tea
6 loaves of cheap white bread
Tins of peaches and tomatoes
4 cheap air fresheners
Some baby cough medicine

What could they possibly be planning? Discuss.

~~I wish I was not so driven by whim. I decided today I wanted my hair cut and coloured. Now. But of course I can only get an appointment next week. I am now grumpy. I always do this. No foreplanning, just a sudden desire to cut my hair/book a holiday/get a new tattoo or piercing/cook an exotic meal/go to a local attraction I have heard about. And always, the attraction is shut (due to it being the middle of winter), the ingredients are not in my store cupboard (really, who among us has ready to hand 8 pounds of goat cheese, or whatever these things require) and more organized people have rudely and thoughtlessly taken the appointments I desire (If you are one of those people who take their diaries to the hairdresser, and book their next appointment while they are there, I mean you. Damn your perfectly planned lives)

~~In normal life, I am not a raspberry fan; give me strawberries any day. Yet, my shopping basket always has organic raspberry youghurt in it, and I had a personal crisis this week when they only had strawberry flavour left (I didn't buy it)

~~My laptop is back. Alas, not working. I miss it so much, and there are so many fun things I want to share with you guys (photos, videos, fun features) that I just don't know how to do on this Apple.

~~No comments from friends and family. Hmmm. Google Analytics has completely flatlined my blog, apparently I have had zero visitors for about 3 weeks now. I miss the little map the most, that shows you where people have been visiting from, and guessing who it was.

~~Neighbours is getting so good. It ended with a real cliff hanger today: Who is the real father of Sky's baby? Is it Dylan or Stingray? Will this ruin the brothers' relationship forever? Can I possibly wait until Monday to find out, or should I search the Internet to find out?

~~I want veneers and laser eye surgery.

T.Y.P.D.K.A.M.

3) I was in the Model United Nations in high school. Yes. I represented the grand nation of Costa Rica. Yes.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

Who would have thunk it. I have been in England 5 years today! Ah yes, good old 2nd February, 2002 (02-02-02, how could I forget!) So innocent I was.

Lindsay: The Innocent Baby Student Nurse, 2003

All your favourite regular features, as well as some semblance of text formatting, will be back whenever I get my laptop back, sometime next week I think. Until then, Flatmate Matt has kindly let me use his Apple, which although fancy and expensive, doesn't like letting me do very much (that's right Lindsay, blame the computer!)

I'm off to celebrate. I'm sure the etiquette guide says the appropriate 5th year anniversary present is a free trip to New Zealand....

Have a cup of tea on me to celebrate with this handy voucher: www.freecupofteafromlindsaybecauseshelovesyou.com

*Voucher only redeemable in Iceland*

Note to self

"In Car To Protect"

This is the rather cryptic message I have, at some indeterminate point, set my phone to remind me about today. Why? No idea. Whatever could it mean? My hypothesis: I am living in some kind of time-warp, a la Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, where my future self has already lived through today and has sent my past self (me) a message to warn me of grave danger.
If anyone wants me, I'll be cowering in my car all day.

Chocolate Banana Shake

Mmmmmm....... Peters'.

Props to Amy for joining me on my semi-annual pilgrimage earlier this month.

Google Analytics is telling me that my site has had zero visits since last Tuesday. Nearly a week! Can it be so? But, *sniff* I added new features and *sniff* I even had pictures of creme eggs *HONK* (that is me blowing my nose) Although, Laura left a comment this week (LOVE YA!) so it must be wrong. HURRAH! Laura also wins valuable BlogPoints** (registered trademark) for getting it right, first try, that she was the one who wrote me the unprintable note in junior high. Good times.

**BlogPoints are redeemable at Beaver Lumber, Peavey Mart, HomeHardware and SAAN (remember SAAN!!!)**

I am taking my laptop into the 'shop' (actually, Mike's Dad!) for repair, so I will be offline for a few days. Also, Michelle is coming to visit me, YAH! So I would probably be too busy anyway, showing her the sights and baking her cakes and things :) I will look forward to getting back online soon, catching up on all your blogs and sharing with you my latest Sven Of The Week.

As a sidebar, I will just add here that if you are reading this, and your name is Sven (unlikely, but there you are), I hope you will not be offended. It is an Atkinson thing.

Many moons ago, my dear brother Greg took a dislike to a Canadian politician called Sven Robinson. I can't remember now what his particular issue with him was, but since then, dear old Sven has been caught stealing a very valuable ring, so it appears Greg may have been right. Anyway, Greg took to labelling things he didn't like 'Svens' (literally: he had a label maker, and used to print off little labels that said Sven and stick them to things!) So that is the history.

T.Y.P.D.K.A.M:

2) I performed every year at my Dad's work Christmas Party, reciting poetry, dancing, or playing piano. For several of those years, I wore a homemade party dress that was seriously hot pink, with tons of layers and white bows dotted all over it. Attractive.

New Blog Features, Because I Am Very Bored

Over Christmas my sister and I went through our boxes of stuff at my parents' house and scaled it down bigtime. We did this about 2 years ago, so it wasn't actually that bad. I found some funny stuff, and spent a lot more time reading through old schoolwork, looking at old pictures and reminiscing than doing any actual work!

I think I may have missed a box of stuff, because I didn't encounter any old yearbooks, or some other stuff that I know I wouldn't have thrown out. Like notes from junior high. Let's be honest, they were so stupid, but worth a laugh, and I'm sure I kept a few. The point of this all is, I did find one old note, and was gonna publish excerpts of it on here, see if you could figure out who wrote it to me and which various people and teachers we were discussing. But looking at it now, it is all way too rude/raunchy/insulting/pointless to publish on here. That alone should tell you who wrote it!! (No, not me!) No one who reads this blog is in there, in fact, no one who I have seen in years. Man, we were such bitchy cows in junior high!

Well, that was pointless. On to other things: I think it's time for:

SVEN OF THE WEEK

This week's Sven Of The Week award goes to "X", at the hospital. I'm not fond of her attitude and find she delights a lot in the meagre amount of power she has been allocated. She is lording it over me and making me do a lot of pointless hoop-jumping. So I'm sitting at home, writing stupid blogs, when I could be out making money.

Rating:
(4 penguin pokes, out of a possible 5)

She wins: My freezer. Complete with death-breath smell, rotten food, and black mould.

WARM FUZZY OF THE WEEK

And this week's Warm Fuzzy goes to Hannah and Julie. It was great to meet up the other day, chatting for hours and catching up on all the gossip. I especially appreciate their friendship when I was feeling low after returning from my long hiatus.

Rating: (3 creme eggs out of a possible 5, points deducted for getting me so drunk that I spent the night with my head in the toilet!) They win: Drinks on me on our next night out

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And finally,

Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me (T.Y.P.D.K.A.M.)

#1) I know all the words to Ice Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice), Shoop (Salt 'n Pepa) and Whoomp There It Is (Tag Team) . I really get into it when I sing along too, especially Shoop

Nephew Time

Here is a pic of nephew Ben. He is two. This is him 'raising the roof', just like his Aunty Lindsay taught him. He has a stuffed Elmo, and occasionally, while he is playing quietly on his own, you will see him throw Elmo's arms in the air and say "Elmo raise the roof!". Ah, it's good to see I can have an intellectual influence on the future generation.

I include him here because I have realized my life has been a lot of moaning, groaning, ranting and raving recently. Now, I'm not one to get sentimental about children being innocent and seeing the positive in things (believe me, I work with the little runts every day!) and I can get positively ill when people go on and on about their cutesy-wootsey kiddy stories (Reader's Digest reader stories, anyone?!) , but Ben's little outlook on life does make me laugh.

Two stories, if you'll indulge me:

1) We were walking through the mall recently, Ben being carried by a female relative, who will remain nameless to protect the embarrassed. Being a doctor's son and a nurse's nephew, he is quickly learning all the parts of the body (I don't like to brag, but he can name and locate his carotid, brachial, radial, and femoral pulses, as well as his kidneys, clavicle and many others) (yes, we are losers!). Anyhoo, he likes pointing out body parts. So he turns to the lady carrying him, pats her belly and goes, "Your little belly". We all make the appropriate praising noises, thinking, what a charmer! He is thrilled with the attention, and, showing off now, he turns to her again, pats her boobs and goes, "Your big belly"

2) Ben certainly already has his own definite personality, and likes things 'just so' - doesn't like things to be untidy, likes people to do things the 'right' way and likes to correct people if they don't say things the 'right' way. He was having an omelette for dinner the other night. His dad was helping him eat, cause he was getting tired and fussy, so he scoops up a forkful of omlette, and as he manoeuvers it to Ben's mouth, he is making chit-chat: "This is such a nice omelette, it has egg and cheese, tomatoes and peppers and broccoli in it." Ben is listening intently, with a mouthful of omelette, and he suddenly pushes the fork away and starts spitting his mouthful out into his hand. I am thinking, is he OK, is he choking? He looks his dad in the eye and says, "And ham, Daddy!", replaces his mouthful and continues eating.

Aw....

Back in Brum

So I'm back 'home'. What an incredible month off. Happy New Year to all of you, by the way, and hope you had a great Christmas.

I did all sorts of fun things with my family: we went to the Zoo, out for nice meals, went to a hockey game (go Flames!), did lots of shopping, to the theatre, went out to Kananaskis and Banff. It was great.

I went for a little looky-loo around the Children's Hospital as well, and was offered a job there in the Emergency. Is Calgary ready to have this chick back? Who knows? Certainly not me! I have pretty much been in a continuous spin cycle since then...

"I'll go to New Zealand...ah but (insert list of 25 reasons why Calgary is better)...yes, that makes sense. OK, I'll come back to Calgary...oh but, (insert reasons why NZ would be amazing)...I'm being silly, I'll go to NZ...although..."

Welcome to my little brain for nearly 3 weeks straight. Ah. Very exhausting!

Anyways, I am back here until February at least. I'll keep you posted. Anyone who has any suggestions, thoughts, prayers, or visions to make this decision easier is extremely welcome to let me know.

So my adventures since leaving Calgary?
Careful...I'm on a rant!

Well the flight home was one big continuous party. When we boarded, one extended family of about 25 people got on and sat pretty much at random wherever they wanted, despite all seats being prebooked. Now let me say the family were annoying and uncooperative to the n'th degree, but the stewardess (or "purser" as her name tag suggested, just what is that now?) did not help situtations at all by being a magnitudinous cow. It took almost an hour to sort out, while we just sat there.

Meanwhile, the couple beside me (very unfriendly) were discussing if they could grab the empty back row, despite me saying I thought it was reserved for the crew to take their breaks (clearly novices, well, not everyone can be an experienced jetsetter like moi!) ;) Every time the already agitated 'purser' walked by, the guy beside me would do that kindof litte jump, sit up straighter, try to make eye contact while extending his pointer finger in the air to get her attention. Then sigh when she (quite rightly) ignored him. In the end, when he finally grabbed her (and brave! Oh my goodness... I would not have made eye contact with this pissed-off woman for any money, let alone made a request of her!) she told him, in not nearly such a nice way that I did (ahem!) that it was for the crew and "don't you think we deserve to sit down sometimes too?!"

Things pretty much quieted down, and I even managed to grab some shut eye (although I was poked awake WITH MY BREAKFAST TRAY by same purser!!!) until we strapped in for landing. Now, I have experienced turbulence in my day but this was turbulence. We bumped, we jolted, we were thrown sideways. We experienced those kind of stomach-losing drops that make the back of your legs go numb and the whole plane collectively groan. The pilot came on the horn to tell us that we were in line for landing but would be circling for 10 more minutes. It was like being on the funfair ride that never ends and is not fun anymore. Babies were screaming, Mums were crying and Oh, the puking! I am not kidding when I say this was vomiting on a whole new level. Now, I don't like to be crass (OK...I do) but the chick in front of me was drafting in vomit bags from all over the plane, and filling them as quickly as they arrived. One woman (from the family of 25) actually got out of her seat and was thrown here, there and everywhere as she tried to make it to the bathroom (meanwhile, our favourite stewardess is screeching, get back in your seat! It's not safe!) All in all, there was 4 different people in my eyeline alone who were chucking (not that I chose to have my eyes open or watch them, you understand. My eyes were screwed shut and I had a death grip on the armrests!)

Eventually, we landed, surprisingly without the oxygen masks falling. And what does the crew say? "Gee, guys, that was a tough one, sorry about that, fortunately we made it?" Nope. "Here we are at London Heathrow. Thank you for choosing to fly with us, hope you had a good flight, please don't take off your seatbelts until the aircraft has come to a complete stop"

Now I would never be so low as to defame the airline, but it was British Airways (oops).

At least my beautiful sister, my wonderful nephew and the baby bump were all there to meet me. She took me back to hers, fed me, watered me, bathed me (just kidding!), let me sleep in their soft and warm spare bed. Things were great.

But reality hit hard when I returned back to my cold, empty flat. What's that smell? Death? Rotting?...

Knowing I was feeling low, the gods had decided to cheer me up by playing a little practical joke. At some indeterminate point in the 4 weeks we were gone, we had a little power cut. Presumably, when the power came back, things beeped back into life and started flashing 00:00. No harm. Oh, except, the freezer forgot to turn itself back on.

It is too depressing to talk about. Suffice it to say, my flatmate came back to a soupy mess last week. And being a boy, he threw all the food out (but left the garbage can full of rotting food!) and wiped the freezer once, then turned it back on (why oh why?), shut the door and left for another week. So I came home to a freezer that was entirely black and smelled like the plague.

Yesterday I spent my first day back home, jetlagged, lonely, and elbow deep in bleach with my head in a mouldy, icy, soupy, dripping pot of stinky gunge. I did what I could, but it still smells like terminal bad breath in here.

I have to go out now. I will write a more cheerful post this afternoon, but right now, spare a moment to feel a little bit sorry for me!

Love ya all

My Blog Burden

Oh little blog -

I have abandoned you. I have thought about you often though. So here I am. Will you give me another chance?

Thanks

The Hotness

Found these whilst looking through my Mum's old knitting patterns - if I get knitting quick enough, it's all my Christmas presents sorted out! Send me a self-addressed, stamped envelope and I can send you a copy so you too can knit your way into people's hearts!



You may not be able to read the smaller print - it suggests that if there is any extra material left over, you can use it to make an attractive matching belt or headband accessory! My problem now is, I 'm just not sure which outfit I like best.



For every baby in your life, nothing says loving like an all-in-one orange knitted outfit.

A little known fact that my Mum, sister and I once posed for a knitting pattern. I think it's a good look. I particularly like the tag-line near the top: "Body-stocking freedom". Neatly illustrated by the small picture too; have you ever seen anyone who so exudes freedom and delight from their knitted body stocking?

My absolute personal favourite. Everyone has a man in their life who could be a little bit more enriched for owning a knitted 'helmet'. Just hang onto him tight, the other girls in the neighbourhood will soon be trying to sink their claws into him!

Arrival

I have arrived!

Who says a 9-hour flight with an overtired 2 year old is too much?! Aghh... The less said about it the better. Suffice it to say, we have arrived in glorious Canada, to my house with my amazing parents, and life is looking better and better.

You'll be glad to hear, I'm sure, that both the dishwasher and wallet situation were resolved. Hurrah. Apparently, it is possible for me to be wrong! (I know - I am still getting over the shock too. No-one tell Mike!!!) I blame aliens for implanting false memories of me bringing my wallet home with me (I was so sure!) Can I put my blog to good use yet again and thank the extremely kind soul who found my wallet dropped outside Tesco and turned it in totally intact. You are a good person, I wish I knew who you were so I could thank you and give you a great big thank you smooch under the mistletoe. But you'll just have to know that you made this girl a very happy bunny.All I can say is it is great to be back, but you all suck for living so far away!! I miss my girls and don't know what I'll do without you. Holls and Jess, I hear you're gonna be around - anyone else, let me know, though I admit I have been a very bad pal the last few months and have not been in touch. Big apologies. Anyone who wants can get an apology smooch under the mistletoe!! :) Just joshing.

But I AM sending a big kiss under the mistletoe to Mike. Yes, it is a bit sickening. But we had the most amazing weekend away together before I left. Smooches, walks in the rain, holding hands over hot chocolates. All the stuff that makes me ill and I laugh at as being cheesey. It turns out that I am a cheesey mushy girl after all!! And I miss him. Aw...

Over and out comrades. I am thinking of you all as Christmas gets near and we all like to have friends and family around! Except for the people who are here by accident or who got here by random blog search. I'm not thinking about you, but only because I don't know you. I'm sure you're very nice people. Drop me a Christmas comment (or some mistletoe!!) :) and I promise I'll think of you too!

Feliz Navidad!

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Soundtrack to this blogging session:

Knick knack paddywhack - Ben Lunn

Looking for the Ogo Pogo - Ben Lunn

Twinkle Twinkle - Ben Lunn

If You're Happy and You Know It - Ben Lunn

My nephew is listening to records and singing along beside me !

BIRTHDAY WISHES

Holly Hoo Hoo

Happy Birthday
25!
Especially for you, as a birthday treat, a picture of a smiling koala

And now, a picture of a brand new toilet. I hope it brings you joy.

Have a great birthday. You're an awesome friend. MWAH!!!! Can't wait to see you whenever you're in Calgary.

What I'm Thinking

Countdown until leaving for Canada:
6 days

Things that I have to do before then:
Lots and lots and lots and lots

Things getting in my way:
1)My washing machine broke yesterday. Again. Mid-cycle. Again. With a very loud thump. The man can come fix it, maybe tomorrow, maybe in the afternoon, maybe not. Until then, my nice new blue sheets sit forlornly inside in a puddle of soapy water.

2) I have lost my wallet. Again. Sadly, not with a very loud thump. The worst part of this for me is that I KNOW the last time I had it was inside my flat. And I realized I had lost it before I left my flat again. This leads me to believe that is must be inside the flat, somewhere.

Places I have looked:
In/under the couch
In my underwear drawer
In my laundry bin
Behind the loose skirting board in the kitchen
In the fridge and freezer
Inside and on top of every single cupboard, also inside the cups and bowls and Tupperware
Through the whole garbage can - yes, I hunted through that puppy!
Through every bag and piece of clothing I own
Behind my bookshelf and behind each individual book

Random Recent News Story That This Relates To:
Apparently, a girl was wedged behind the bookcase in her room, quite dead, for 11 days, while her poor frantic family searched everywhere for her, thinking she had been kidnapped. It appears she had been trying to adjust the TV plug, fell behind and got stuck.

Two Best Ever Quotes From This News Story, Courtesy of BBC Website
"The family told the newspaper that they had noticed a strange smell coming from the room, but blamed it on rats"

"Her death was eventually discovered when her sister noticed a foot protruding from behind the bookcase. 'I'm sleeping in the same house as her for 11 days, looking for her. And all the time she was right there in the bedroom', said her mother"

What I Have Decided
I love my wallet, and even more so the little plastic cards it contains that buy me things. But if it is stuck behind the bookcase, I think it can stay there.

Final Thought
I didn't know rats had a smell

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Soundtrack for this blogging session:
Dolly Parton - Workin' 9-5
Venga Boys - Venga Bus
Mariah Carey - All I Want For Christmas
N'Sync - Bye Bye Bye

(Songs inspired by a fantastic weekend out partying til the early hours to gay anthems!)

This One's For The Girls

This video has a great message, and while I have (slight) issues that it is still at essence manipulative adverstising for a multibillion dollar corporation who is out for profit, I did think of it at the salon today, flicking through a magazine of hot chicks, and was comforted. I laughed at one viewers' (very un-PC) comment that it is like watching a night out at the bar for him - the chicks start off so-so and by the end of his night have morphed into supermodels. Anyways, enjoy. Heads held high, girls!

Bouncing here and there and everywhere

Don't I always say you heard it here first? The other day, after posting my blog, I turned the radio off and did some chores around the house. When I turned it back on, what were they doing but asking listeners to text in about their favourite kids' tv show! More proof that I secretly rule the world, I think much! The winner, voted by the great British public, was Gummi Bears.

I babysat my nephew Ben last night. It was great. He is very cute and is at the stage of rapidly expanding his vocab. He soaks up anything you say and repeats it with great delight. I have spent a highly amusing time with him, teaching him vocab like, "Hammer Time"and "jaundice". Mild abuse of aunty position but it makes me laugh. My sister, the yuppy, takes him out to Starbucks with her and orders him a 'babyccino" which is milk in a mini coffee cup, with frothed milk on top and a marshmallow on the side. Yes, seriously. Groom them young!

Speaking of hot drinks, I have a see-through electric kettle. I made myself a hot-water bottle the other night and watched it boil. Proof, I think, against the old adage that it won't do that if you're watching it. It also led me to question how the kettle knows when the water is boiling to turn itself off. My answer? It must have some kind of thermostat inside.

Now you remember why you come here, eh?
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Soundtrack for this blogging session:

Akon ft. Eminem - Smack That

Nostalgia

Right now, I am so into nostalgic TV.

It all started with an innocent conversation with my good buddies Laura and Travis over an extremely suspect Chinese buffet.

(Ginger fried cat, anyone?!)

Heaven only knows how it turned to the television shows of our childhood, but I think I managed to avoid mentioning my long succession of extremely dodgy celebrity crushes, starting with Adam from "You Can't Do That On Television", followed by a brief obsession with Jonathan from New Kids On The Block (remember him? No? No-one does. That's because he was the ugly one whom no one fancied except me because I was a strikingly odd child). There may have been more but the only other one I can remember is PJ Phil from YTV. Remember they used to have those presenters in-between the shows who would make crafts and things? I didn't even watch YTV but I used to tune in with the hope of catching Phil. I think he may have been in a Crunchie commercial too. Can't beat a Canadian-lad-done-good.

But I digress. Back to the Chinese.

We reminisced about Today's Special. What a great show! I had forgotten about the computer that spit out answers and about the mime lady. Hilarious. Can you imagine being a TV producer and sitting around thinking, "You know what would be a GREAT idea? Let's set a show in a department store after-hours, and make it about a security guard, a mouse and a mannequin that comes to life. And, hell, chuck in a mime and a talking computer."

If you are extremely sad like me, or just need a nostalgic boost, go to

http://todays-special.schuminweb.com/main-page.asp and click on the multimedia bit, to watch the opening sequence.

My good buddies then reminded me about Square One. This one is slightly hazy (hatred of math from an early age I guess) but I do remember MATHMAN. Remember this takeoff of PacMan who used to eat numbers or get eaten by a tornado?

Then there was the Canadian Sesame Street with Louis the polar bear and his friend the orange cat (bear?) who used to fly a plane and speak French. There was also a shrieky Grandma and a girl in a wheelchair.

And, judging by this photo, they used to invite Canadian celebrities to join in the fun. Well done, Kurt Browning. If I was a Canadian celebrity (and I use that term loosely) I would have loved to be on Sesame Street!!

A few years after that malarkey came what I would consider the best show of my childhood, Where In the World Is Carmen Sandiego? I remember as the opening credits started and they would say, "Hit it Rockapella!" And the winner of the game had to earn his prize by standing on a huge map and marking each country that was called out with a big flashing lights. If I remember correctly, it was really unfair, as one week they would have a relatively easy map of say, North America, and then the next week they would have to mark African countries or something.

I can't leave without mentioning KidStreet, filmed in our very own Calgary with the lovely Kevin hosting. Kids used to sit in little go-karts with their siblings and answer such brainteasers as, "How many telephones are in your house?" It was great. Their trademark was a huge cavern filled with toys that the winners used to go play in, and that the kids had to clap with their hands over their heads after every commercial break. I have the great privilege of knowing two girls who were on the show in its prime and they let me know (exclusively!) that this was because if they clapped at chest level, it would have been right into the microphone, and any higher up would have obscured their face, so above their head was the only option. Not having any siblings of an appropriate age to join me, my best friend Allison Cuppen and I used to plot how we could sneak onto the show by pretending to be siblings. I'm sure this would REALLY have fooled the producers, not least because we were about 4 months apart in age.

Thanks for joining me down Memory Lane, guys. Please please submit any other ones you can think of, I am enjoying this!!

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Soundtrack for this blogging session:

Radio 1, with Jo Whiley. She is OK but definitely my least favourite host.